When you become the change


I practiced every single day we were gone but one
with four kids on me
or with grandpa and grandpa babysitting
it's not even something I ask for anymore
my body calls for it
it carves out time and space for it
without me trying
all of a sudden
there I am in the leaves
the dirt or the grass
opening my heart
breathing into my day
this trip called for lots of holding poses
I have been flowing a lot recently
so surprisingly I stood
and stood
mountain pose
arms raised
micro movements
as my body adjusts
remembers what it's like to be pushed
sometimes when it's just baby and me
I live a neat little life
lots of space and time
things done my way  
yet at home
I am challenged
being in others spaces
getting asked questions that are hard to answer
typical family stuff
it's all good
they're my angels
they bring so many lessons
but challenged nonetheless
you all know this
you all have a the yeah-but in your life
someone who loves you
but who you struggle to understand
for some reason
I have three
and I blew up for so long
throwing tantrums like the baby
and then I refrained from blowing up
to the point where I blocked the feelings
and so it felt so good to remember
to hold plank
or mountain pose
and let the tears flow
the energy moved
it's okay to feel misunderstood
just find a way to move through it
or find a way for it to move through you
this is the way to heal
this is a way to finish your practice saying thank you for the lesson
and almost immediately
the critic changes
apologies flow
and understanding happens
it's amazing
when you become the change
you change the world