The Gift of the Mountain

The gift of the mountain
I got it today

The gift of the mountain
Wrapped up in a brown parcel
Tied with a fern
A pine cone sitting on top
That whispered
Open me
It's time

I opened it while listening to the radio
To crowds echoing back to a singer
What they heard from him
I envisioned my lifetime of concerts
My hundreds of times I had sang back the words to a singer
The heat of the crowd
The electricity of the energy
The stomping of the feet
Laughing with friends

As I listened part of me ached
Ached for those carefree moments
The fun in the sun
The wildness in the air

And then I remembered
I remembered the gift
I went back in my heart to what was really there
What was that longing asking me to look at?
What was the ache begging me to learn?
What was the courage to look at it calling of me?

And just like that
The ability to look into this feeling
Brought the gift in like a flood
There was a surge of tears and a release of fears
For the gift was calling me
It whispered remember

Remember the feeling you had earlier this week
While stomping your feet on the kitchen floor
My 1 year old bobbing his head to the beat
The same bubbling of energy had come through
The same connectedness to life
The same feeling of being alive
My whole life I looked for those feelings out there

Outside of me

Externally focused

I ran to any experience that made me feel free
And now I can see

The gift of the mountain
Is the gift of perspective
That the freedom is in me

There is no external event that can ever do more than what I already am
Sure they can act as a placeholder
A mirror
Think of the things you really like
The events that make you feel alive
The friends you gravitate too
They reflect back to you who you are
But that's the part of the gift
accepting that that's
who

you

are

Accepting that you ARE all of that
You are enough on your own
Whole and complete
If all of the external experiences are truly reflections of what's within
We can start there

Look within
And know that right in this moment
I am

I am all of that experience
I don't need to run to the external
To find what's within

Because I. am.