Parenting, Yoga & the Fart

parenting.
what a word.
what a role.
what a challenge.
what a joy.

the biggest questions
come from others
what school will he attend?
how many words can he say?
is he walking
eating
pooping
breathing?

all in complete innocence
or sometimes a competition
but nevertheless
questions
to gauge ourselves
am i doing okay?
am i a good parent?
am i loving enough?
smart enough?
able enough?

the babies
they just laugh
they're joyful
passionate
pure
in the moment

they don't care if they're not "talking"
they'll yap for hours
making all sorts of sounds
questions
laughter
does it make 'sense'?
not really
but to them, they're talking
so when a mother asks, 
is he talking yet?
respond
to whom?
to society?
no.
to my heart?
every. 
single. 
day.

they don't care what they're eating
they'll eat this toy
that ant
and this plant
like who cares
if it doesn't taste good
it's us who forces a preference
do you like it?
we ask
don't ask
let them eat it
does it fuel you?
okay, I don't recommend ants
but let the babies
when learning to eat
eat all the things
let them play
let them splatter
and forget about asking if they're 'good' at eating
of course they're good at it
can't you see them
sitting
with food all over their face

they don't care if they're not walking
they'll pull themselves up
twenty times
than fifty
never taking a single step
just up
down
up
down
they fart
then laugh
and look in amazement like "did that come from me?"
it's so beautiful really
it's like YES!
this is what practice should feel like

joy
frustration
self inquiry
sometimes it's anger
it's definitely not all laughing
but the anger is short lived
and it's felt fully
like DAMN that's annoying
oh look at that squirrel! 
let's move on

it's practice

it's the way the body wants to move

it's funny
as i watch Onyx live life
i realize
this is how i feel about yoga
it's practice
we get on the mat
we take just a moment to do a breathing exercise
and we come back to it
day in
day out
sometimes we're really joyful
other times we release
so frustration
or anger come
that's okay

there's no elusive dream that babies have
that one day they will be able to walk
they don't think like that
they just know they will
so in the meantime
they enjoy
up
down
fart
laugh

that's how we can be
that's how we are
there's no reason to dream that one day
somewhere in the future
we will be perfect
we just know
we already are

so
we come back
time and time again
to the mat
we breathe deeply
we practice the way our bodies were designed to move
and
just
like
that
we see ourselves
in all our perfection
and then we fart
and laugh in amazement
like "did that come from me?!"