Honouring natural cycles of the earth today and digging deeper into what "Halloween" truly is about. In understanding more about Samhein, it's the transition to the period of darkness, the end of harvest, and the beginning of winter. It's a beautiful celebration time with bonfires and ritual. And even in ancient mythology, there were costumes, as people disguised oneself during this time that the veil between this world and the others was more translucent. It says this lasts from sunset on the 31st to sunset on the 1st.
It doesn't surprise me that today, for me, is a heavy day. Exactly a year ago today, I left my partner and home to start the solo Momma, co-parenting journey. We have lived in two homes since then and have been on an adventure. Yet, here we are, thriving.
child is a sick babe, I am home and unable to do any work or even self care. Caring for him makes me always realie the darkness that exists in me, because there are moments between the parts that make me laugh and cuddle him, moments where I resent it all. Where it is tough and where I wish for a partner who is doing it everyday with me. Moments where I see my weaknesses come to the surface. "Hi impatience, nice to see you again. Wow, frustration, you're really here with me today aren't you?"
I think this is pretty normal stuff. There is a real awakening in the world right now to acknowledging and feeling all of our feelings. To not stuff them down or make them 'wrong' or shameful. And I love that movement because it feels authentic. Don't get me wrong, most of my days are so blissful and full of awe and wander that I cry. But there are these days too. The tougher ones. I think yoga teachers or others that are in a place of mentorship feel worried sometimes about letting that be public. Like we should be shiny, happy people all year long. But I would worry more about a teacher who is happy all the time than one who feels all the feels.
How do we run and disguise ourselves from ourselves? Oh, let me count the ways. Today, let this day be a reminder of the fun we can have while doing this, but also as a conscious acknowledgement of the darkness. Let us greet the rising moon with appreciation for the full wheel of emotion. Let us come to our knees with sheer gratitude for this chance at life, with all the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Happy Halloween to all.