La Luna

la-luna.jpeg

we all only want to be good
we want happiness
not sadness
we feel the pulse of a world moving so quickly we can't keep up
i gasp and struggle to keep my breath
filling my body
filling my belly
i struggle

today is the second day of my moon
and the flow is so intense
it takes over all aspects of my emotions
digging deep into questions about my life
moody
reflective
like the beautiful luminescent moon in the sky

a falcon appears
guiding me to strategy
independence
but it doesn't make sense for my darkness
sure
i will guide her international
in the best way i know how

the falcon knows this
sees me in this
and says YES

i know that there is a light guiding the way
but on days like today
that are so dark
i struggle to get to the surface of the lake
to see it
to feel it

i feel nothing but sadness
drowning
precariously teetering
on the precious edge of life
of doing it 'all'
and yet doing nothing at 'all'

i hear people say
start saying no
i say no everyday
all the time

i hear people say
choose one thing
mom life
or work
but in my situation
there's more to it than this
i need both to survive

i hear people say
choose one line of work
the charity
or yoga
and i say
but can't you see
they are both so intertwined
i have no idea where one stops
and one starts
they flow and dance
self care
world care

i can't see clearly
where the line is
to grab
to survive
but perhaps i have nothing to do at all
perhaps i can float on my island of self pity
for one day after all
sleep by the fireside
like a cat curled in
put one foot in front of the other
sit with the trees
always sit with the trees
regardless of the mood i'm in

perhaps for this day of my flow
i can honour my womanly essence
the earth shattering truth
that i'm magic enough to create life
embarking on a new adventure every month
but first,
shedding it all
perhaps, 
this is my season of fall

My PoetryTamara MComment