A More Ethical & Graceful 2017

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Every year I look back at the previous year for reflection and then into the next year with hope. This year is no different, although there's a little bit more settling into myself, into being completely and utterly content with where I am. There's no need to hurry the future or to forget the past. There's just a softening into today. The Winter Solstice.

They say the solstice is a time for really relaxing into your darkness. For accepting all that you are and utilizing yin energy, the feminine energy, to accept and love it, and lean into your light. Without darkness, we couldn't have the light. So this is a perfect time for me to fill the darkness, to offer it tea, and to lovingly usher it out the door when it has stayed too long. It's been a journey of this for the past few months, few years, and today I'm filled with more light, more conscious love than ever before. What a magical miracle this life is.

If I was to make a short list of the last year, it would include items like: having a baby, starting my own business, starting Yoga Teacher Training, letting go of limiting beliefs, learning to trust myself, learning to let my layers of guilt or shame fall away, finding discipline, softening into grace, making new friends, and deepening existing relationships. Creativity came knocking and I took a few writing classes. I began to look at parenting as part of my spiritual practice and that changed everything. Being present with Onyx has brought me the most joy of my life. Finding the whisper of creation within me, the goddess has been awakened and this has brought boundaries and self-care and even patience. (There's more of that on the horizon!) I began to attend events like documentary nights and meditations as my version of "fun" and the only dancing I've done has been on my kitchen floor. It's been amazing.

If I was to look at the year ahead I would say my visualizations include finding a new, more permanent home for Onyx & I, being immersed in nature, writing a book, writing for clients, building a social enterprise and ongoing tribe, graduating as a yoga teacher, teaching in two studios, furthering training with nidra meditation, shin rin yoku, and yoga therapy, spending a lot of time in savasana, finding, no wait, unfolding my dharma, and gracefully learning to surrender further. I see some travel, for about a month, to jungle heat, big smiles, and beach life. I am going to find the perfect childcare companion whom Onyx loves and who gives me some freedom to do the above. My goals are enhanced creativity, better relationships, and a more ethical and graceful way of living in the world.

It's been an amazing year with so many ups and downs. I am so excited for what's to come, but right now, as I hear my little one wake up from his nap, I'm even more excited for this moment - right here, right now. 

I'll leave you with this. You belong here, there, where you are. I love you.

Thanks for being here with me.

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

 -- Wild Geese by Mary Oliver